The Bright Horizon (Cross-Post)

I've had this happy feeling about BabyQuest lately that I've been referring to as "the bright horizon," and I think its about faith.  I'm not a religious person, so when I talk about faith, I mean believing that our deepest needs will be met, while at the same time accepting that the ability to meet those needs is not entirely within our control.  I know that sounds heavy, but bear with me....

I've come to feel in my heart that motherhood is going to happen for me in a way I never expected.  Which, given my history, should have been apparent to me for awhile!  But I'm a stubborn girl, and its taken me some time to accept this, and to stop trying to force my life to fit my plans and expectations.  So when I say I have this new feeling in my heart, I mean I've gained an entirely new perspective.

With this new perspective comes great excitement and anticipation.  Will we end up adopting?  Will we be surprised in some other way?  I don't know, but I can't wait to find out - and I know whatever happens will be the right thing.  This involves an implicit trust that is different than will or determination.  I'll do what I need to do to make it (whatever it is) happen, but also - I know it was meant to happen.  I feel this deeply, in the most peaceful part of myself. 

The other thing about this new perspective is that it frees me from focusing on the potholes directly in front of me, because I'm looking further down the road, at my happy destination.  So yes, there will be more infertility treatments, and yes, there may be trial and tribulation in adopting, but those are just the turns of the road that I'll navigate as they arise.  And eventually, I will be a mother to the baby I was always meant to be with.

You see what I mean?  I'm keeping my eyes on the bright horizon. 

Happy Friday Zen, everyone. 

Comments

[Chelsea]

I know exactly what you mean about being spiritual but not religious. I also have faith that things work out the way they are supposed to and hopefully we learn what we are supposed to along the way. My heart goes out to you. I hope you don't have to wait too much longer for your baby:)